When God Isn't Perfect

There is nothing quite like Christmas to stir up thoughts of the past. The lights and the trees, the smells and the sounds, so many things that can trigger memories of years gone by. And perhaps, a few "perfect" moments; picture framed in our minds and forever cherished.
I recently took my daughter to the Christmas Twilight Parade in hopes of creating such memories for her. We watched to floats go by, decorated with lights, playing music, and of course throwing out some candy for the kids as well. The weather was perfect and new Christmas memories were made; it was good night.
There were two floats in particular that caught my attention however, but not because of their theme or design. It was the organizations that presented them that took me back to memories past, memories of a time where perfection meant something much different to me.

I never went to public school. My parents, trying to do what they thought to be best for me, sacrificed and sent me to private school. Now, private schools are notorious for many things, and a more strict code of conduct is usually right at the top of the list. The first school that I ever attended was no exception, and was, quite frankly, one of the most disciplined schools in the area. Corporal punishment was part of the rule book, and spanking was still common.
There was a system of punishment in my first school that I became quite familiar with;  let me explain.
At least once a week, the principle would come to our classroom and stand at the doorway with a list of students names. One at a time he would read off the names, and as you heard your name read from the list (which mine almost always was, lol) you would stand next to your desk, completely silent. We were the condemned, standing awkwardly for our classmates to watch; we waited for our punishment. A chair was placed in the front of the classroom; one at a time and in the order that the names had been read from the list, each student would walk to that chair, bend over, and grab the seat of the chair. What came next were three good swings of the paddle, but there were rules to that as well. 
You could not move, flinch, or whimper; any excessive movement or crying would result in another swat, and believe me that three was enough, you really didn't want any more. For three years , that was a pretty steady routine of mine; until I was made of stone. I could stand there like a statue, and not show an ounce of pain or emotion; I could take it like a man.

Today, there are many that would condemn this type of training, and there are some that would applaud it; I have chosen to simply learn from it. It was what it was, and it is a part of me. But, for a young boy that could barely sit still, whose mind was constantly racing and seemed to be connected directly to his mouth; well, those years left a lasting impression - haha. One thing, however, was clear; even at that young age, I was expected to be perfect. The standard of perfection was set very high, so high that no one could actually achieve it; but no one could bring themselves to admit that either. It ultimately led to a choice; realize that you could never live up to such expectations and accept the shame, or put on the mask of religion and pretend to be perfect.
As a young boy, I wanted so badly to please everyone and be accepted; but I knew that I was not perfect, so I chose my mask. I would have to be stronger, more disciplined, unbreakable; if you haven't already guessed it, at the least, you should not be surprised. Only one person was strong enough to never cry, to never break, to never give up; and as silly as it sounds now, I told myself that if only I were Batman then I could be what they wanted me to be.

Now as fate would have it, in the third grade I left that school for another. Our church had started a small elementary school, and my mom was a teacher there. Everyone knew me, and it was a little more relaxed atmosphere. They had this new thing called "recess", it was wonderful. I got to run and play and burn off that extra energy that always seemed to get the better of me. At the end of the day, however, I was still me; and that moment of the chair, the principal, and myself, found me at this school once again. What happened next was as humorous as it was tragic, let me try to retell the tale.
There were no public spankings at the front of the classroom in this school, but you did get sent to the principal's office if the occasion called for it; and being me, I'm sure that this particular occasion called for it. The next part I was very familiar with, 
I was told to grab the chair and so I did. 
I looked forward and the first swat came, no problem. 
There was a slightly longer pause than what I was used to, but then came number two.
Just the right amount of sting, hey this guy knows what he is doing; one more to go.
This pause was even longer, I started to wonder should I dare to turn around, was it done?
I almost flinched, but then came number three.
Oh yeah, this guy knows what he is doing; I've got the tingly's going on now.
I turned to look over my shoulder and get my, you can go now nod.
Nothing.
This is weird, I did my part right; so what is this?
Oh well, one more it would seem... WOW! that had some fire on it.
Surely we are done now.
I turned to look at him and our eyes locked.
He was looking for something, and I was not going to give it to him. I was in Batman mode, the cape and the cowl were secure and I was unbreakable, I would not disgrace myself by crying out.
He gestured for me to grab the chair again, and so I did.
I don't want to lie, I don't remember how many more came after that; but I do remember thinking that I was wrong. This school was worse and it was going to be a very long year.
But there was something that I did not know about this man. He had a much different perspective than what I had been previously exposed to; and it was his belief that until there were tears, the child was not truly sorry or repentent of his transgressions.
Unbeknownst to me, there was a conversation that occurred later that day between my principal and my mother that went something like this:
Your son was sent to my office this morning.
-And how did that go?
Honestly, I have never seen anything like it and I am a little concerned. 
-What do you mean?
There was no emotion, no sign of giving in, I have never seen anything like it.
-Oh God, I should have told you. That is how he was taught to respond at his previous school, let me explain...
My principal was not terrible person, and he did feel quite bad about that experience. I did not know about his conversation with my mother at that time, but I did notice that I never had an experience with him like that ever again. At the worst, when I was sent to the office, I might get one swat and he would send me back to class; nothing that I couldn't handle. You could say that one misunderstanding paved the way for a much smoother year, lol.

In the efforts to create a "perfect" child, discipline is considered the cornerstone; and spanking is often one of the central supports. But if left unbalanced, without love and compassion, tenderness and forgiveness; it often results in anything but a perfect child.
As a father, spanking was and is one the hardest things that I had to reconcile with my upbringing. I do believe in the scriptures, and I do believe that you will ruin a child without the presence of discipline in their life; but that made it no easier for me to do.
I remember the first time that I had to spank my son, not a quick tap on the fanny; but a "you are being punished" spanking. I was fighting so many emotions, that for some reason I bit tongue through the whole process. I bit down so hard that I was almost sure that I must have broke the skin and would be bleeding, I am pretty sure that it did hurt me more than it hurt him.
In truth, I have always bitten my tongue when disciplining my children, which honestly is not that often. But I never really took notice, or thought about it much until last year. I remember thinking, why do I always bite my tongue; so I began to pray about it. The Lord's answer came to me in two parts; this is what He told me.
First, you bite your tongue so that you will not speak in anger, or say words that will damage in ways that you would regret.
Second, whenever you have struck something or someone in anger or frustration; anytime that you have lost control in blind rage your teeth were always clenched. As you were taught to do, like a fighter you would lock your jaw as you clenched your fists. You cannot lock your jaw if you are biting on your own tongue, it is the bridle that keeps you in control.
It was humbling.
Humbling to know that I was so messed up, that I needed such a crutch; but comforting to know that God had made a way, even when I had not realized it.  Because I had always asked for His help, and He was faithful to give it.

But why bring all of this up, what is the purpose of spending so much time in the past?
Recently I have found myself in the place where my strength can no longer help me, the place where what I know can no longer guide me to where I must go. Exhausted I finally turned to the Lord and asked, "What do I do?" 
He responded. "CRY OUT TO ME."
What surprised me was that I could not do it.
Many of you have watched my journey for the last year and a half. I have been praised for my strength and my faith, in the face of the heart attack and cancer I was unshakable. But what I must confess, and did not even realize was that I relied more on my strength than anything else. Most of my life, but particularly the past ten years, I have sought to know God and His ways. I have studied and I have prayed, and it was sincere; but sometimes you can wear the mask for so long that you no longer see your true identity, you no longer see the mask in the mirror. 
Ten years of preparation gave me the strength to be Batman for one year, and I was perfect. I took whatever was thrown at me and I did not flinch, I held on to the chair and I was unbreakable. I fought for my health, I went to the gym, I encouraged others, I was an inspiration, maybe even a superhero; but then something else began to happen. I began to weaken again, the harder that I pushed the more that it hurt; but I told God that I could handle it, I would not be moved. Then Norma had to face cancer and I felt helpless, I did not have enough strength for her too; I began to crack. The more I tried, the more my strength was depleting; but I still wanted to be perfect, resenting that I knew I was not.
Again I asked God for the strength to continue, and his response was the same; CRY OUT TO ME, but I refused to cry still.

In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears.   Psalm 18:6


As a father, I know my children. I know their personalities, their quirks and their qualities. I know what will bring them happiness and I care when they are hurting. There have been times throughout the years, when it was "too quiet" in the house. I would call their name as I looked for them, and I would eventually find them in their room softly crying. There was lots of hugs and kisses and comfort, assuring them that all would be alright.
But I also know their cry. Nothing gets in my way, when I hear "that cry" for help; time stops and nothing else matters until they are safely in my arms. Whatever has happened can be dealt with, it's a matter of presence.

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.   Hebrews 4:16

Religion is the mask that alters our perception of God's perfection.
I did not know how to approach the throne of grace because I never recognized it. Jesus sits on the throne of grace, we think of it as a golden throne; but in truth , it is an ancient Roman whipping post. It was the determination of grace that held him there, and his mercy is that he took our stripes so that we might be healed. 

I realized that I could not cry out to the throne, because I was bracing for the post; ready to silently endure my stripes, instead of freely receiving his mercy. The whipping post only becomes a throne when you see Jesus sitting upon it; you have to take off your mask to recognize it, when you hide behind religion you are hidden from the truth.

Behind our masks we only see an altered reflection of the truth; but God asks that we come to the altar, to remove the mask and reveal a new nature, a living spirit, a reflection of His perfection.

For weeks I knew what I had to do, and it terrified me. 

So, on a cold and windy Sunday night, I went out to the beach on Lake Michigan in November; because I didn't want anyone to see me, I didn't want my family to think that I had lost my mind. I stood in the dark, and let the crashing waves hide the volume of my cry; I cried to God,

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!.... please help me."

I simply cried out for my Dad to come and find me, to hold me and tell me that He was there.

I had no heavenly visions that night, Jesus did not appear to me walking across the water; but a weight was lifted. A little boy, who still wore a mask, no longer felt the burden of trying to be perfect; and he walked away, leaving the mask behind. 

How do you recognize perfection?

Does it need to be announced so that you will not overlook it, or does it simply captivate you the moment that you enter into it's presence?

I searched the "I Am's" of God, and He does not declare, "I AM PERFECT". 

He does not have to, we just recognize it. 

So why do we insist that we must be perfect, why do we spend so much time and effort trying to convince others that we are?

When you know what God says about himself, you will see what your reflection should be.

"I AM"   _­­John 8:58 (NKJV)

"I AM who I AM"     Exodus 3:14 (NKJV)

"I am Alpha and Omega" (Jesus)     Revelation 1:8 (NKJV)

"I am from above" (Jesus)     John 8:23 (NKJV)

"I am God Almighty"   Genesis 17:1 (NKJV)

"I am he"   John 18:5 (NKJV)

"I am he who comforts you"   Isaiah 51:12 (NKJV)

"I am holy"   1Peter 1:16 (NKJV)

"I am the door" (Jesus)   John 10:9 (NKJV)

"I am the door of the sheep" (Jesus)    John 10:7 (NKJV)

"I am the good shepherd" (Jesus)    ­­John 10:11 (NKJV)

"I am the light of the world" (Jesus) ­­ John 9:5 (NKJV)

"I am the bread of life" (Jesus)    ­­John 6:48 (NKJV)

"I am the LORD, and there is no other"   Isaiah 45:5 (NKJV)

"I am the LORD who heals you"     Exodus 15:26  (NKJV) 

           

"I am the LORD who makes all things"   Isaiah 44:24 (NKJV)

"I am the LORD, the God of all flesh"   Jeremiah 32:27 (NKJV)

"I am the LORD your God who divided the sea"   Isaiah 51:15 (NKJV)

"I am the LORD your God who teaches you to profit''  Isaiah 48:17 (NKJV)

"I am the LORD exercising loving-kindness, judgment, and righteousness"  Jeremiah 9:24 (NKJV)

"I am the LORD, your Holy One"   Isaiah 43:15 (NKJV)

"I am the resurrection, and the life" (Jesus)_­­    John 11:25 (NKJV)

"I am the root and offspring of David" (Jesus)   Revelation 22:16 (NKJV)

"I am the Son of God" (Jesus)   ­­John 10:36 (NKJV)

"I am the vine" (Jesus)    ­­John 15:5 (NKJV)

"I am the way, the truth, and the life" (Jesus)   ­­John 14:6 (NKJV)

"I am their inheritance"  Ezekiel 44:28 (NKJV)

"I am their possession"   Ezekiel 44:28 (NKJV)

"I am your exceedingly great reward"   Genesis 15:1 (NKJV)

"I am your portion and your inheritance"   Number 18:20 (NKJV)

"I am you salvation"   Psalm 35:3 (NKJV)

"I am your shield"    Genesis 15:1 (NKJV)

"I am with you"    Acts 18:10 (NKJV)

"I am with you to deliver you"   Jeremiah 1:8 (NKJV)

"I am with you to save you"    Jeremiah 30:11(NKJV)

"I am with you always" (Jesus)    Matthew 28:20 (NKJV)

The Sound of Silence

We search for a vision in the waters of reflection, as we wander aimlessly in the desert of silence.

What if one of the most recognizable songs of the sixties turned out to be an incredibly prophetic insight to our time?
I recently, and quite accidentally, heard a more current recording of the song "The Sound of Silence". I couldn't explain why, but I became fascinated with the song. It was by no means the first time that I have heard this song, I have known it since I was a boy. Yet I found myself on YouTube, watching videos of different artist and interpretations of a seemingly timeless classic; but it was the lyrics that ultimately gripped my attention. As I was considering the imagery portrayed, a question came to mind.

If you were living in the year 1963 and given a vision of society today, an anonymous viewing of the masses of people completely immersed and dependent on mobile devises and internet connection;
How would you describe it?

Take a few minutes to read and consider these lyrics with that point of view in mind.

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence
Fools, said I, you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence

Consider some of the lyrics:

When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night,
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence,
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made

If you had never seen, nor had any knowledge of what a cell phone was, how would you describe it?
If you were given a glimpse into this future and tried to describe the impact of the small box of light that everyone seemed to carry in the palm of their hand, could you put it into words?

Is technology evil?   I would say No.
Will mobile devises be the downfall of our society?   Not necessarily.
Let's face it, most of you are probably reading this on a mobile devise right now.
The question that needs to be considered is this: What is it that we are neglecting as we post, scroll, troll, edit and swipe; what remains unseen in our fascination with viewing everything under the sun, what do we miss that is sitting right next to us?
Most every psychological study today reveals that while we live in the most technologically connected society that has ever existed, more people feel disconnected and alone than ever before. In our quest to know everything about everyone, we learn little about what matters; particularly about ourselves. For centuries men looked up when seeking answers to the unknown, they searched their surroundings to understand the world around them; but now, we look down to see a world filtered through another's perspective.

Psalm 19:1-4
The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they reveal knowledge.

They have no speech, they use no words;

no sound is heard from them.

Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,

their words to the end of the world. 

We may not hear God's voice audibly today, but He is by no means silent.

He made sure that all of creation would speak of His greatness, and testify of His glory. After a time when it seemed that He had been silent the longest, the Word became flesh and walked among men for thirty-three years. And now that we have His written word, we have no reason to remain silent.

Life is so much more than just knowing what is going on around us. We are meant to know one another, we were created to have relationship with our creator. The greatest search engine is found in the soul, and the answers it requires cannot be found on Google.

What is more satisfying, the screen or the skies;

Would you rather study a profile, our look into their eyes?

The people will perish from a lack of vision;

Because in silence, they could not listen. 

 

The Most Difficult Thing To Share

As I was lying in bed this morning, I recalled a conversation from years ago.

I was speaking with a very good friend, a man who had endured many hard times but had always trusted the Lord. We shared stories of trials that seemed hopeless in that moment, until God showed up and made a way where there had seemed to be no way. We both concluded that God was always faithful, even though we did not always understand His ways. And then I made a statement that caused both of us to pause for just a moment,
 - "There is a feeling when the weight of the heartache is lifted, that moment when you know that God has just answered your prayer. You take in a deep breath, and your heart feels as light as the air that has just filled your lungs. You have just witnessed the miracle and you know that everything has just worked itself out.
One day, I hope to have the kind of faith that can experience that kind of feeling, without yet having received my answer. To stand in the middle of the trial with the peace of completely trusting God with the outcome. A heart that is light, while the burden is still heavy." -
 It has been at least ten years since I had that conversation, yet I still recall it as if it had just taken place ten minutes ago.

There has been a great deal on my mind recently, but as I was lying in bed this morning I came to a realization. Today I have the opportunity to experience that kind of faith. The faith of Job when he declared,  "Naked I came out from my mother's womb, and naked I will return there. Yahweh gives, and Yahweh takes. Let Yahweh's name be blessed."  Job 1:21; or when he pleaded in 13:15, "Even though he kills me, I'll continue to hope in him. At least I'll be able to argue my case to his face!" 
Job never knew that his story was going to be written down so that we might study it, and be encouraged by it for thousands of years. There are two key factors that are central to the story of Job, his suffering and his faith. Both were recorded so that we might fully see the greatness of God.

The most difficult thing to share is that we don't always understand what God is doing, or how things are going to play out in the end. Especially when we don't know what could have been done differently.

It becomes increasingly difficult to lie to the people of God, especially when you feel the Lord compelling you to be open with them.
Friday night I was at the church for a special service. I had gotten there early and was just enjoying wandering around, striking up random conversations and catching up with friends. I found myself talking with Pastor Joe. We talked about his recent vacation to New York, we talked about our families and our children, and then he asked me how I was doing. I gave my usual answer that I was okay, but somehow in that moment, I could tell that he saw through that answer. 
He asked again, "No, really, how are you doing?" 
I insisted, "I'm fine, I'm just feeling too old for all of this, I'm probably just tired."
I could see in his eyes that he was seeing more than I was ready to share, but he didn't press. He did make the comment that Moses was eighty years old when God used him to bring Israel out of Egypt, So I was still young and God has plenty of time to use me. Pastor Joe said, "You know that your second half can still be greater than the first." At that, we chuckled, I gave him a hug, and we went on our way.
Saturday morning I woke around six a.m. I decided to go for a walk, I needed to pray and hopefully clear my head a bit. There are some things coming this week that I don't want to tell you about, things that seem too personal, things that make me feel vulnerable when spoken aloud. But for whatever His reasons, God told me that He was going to make me a "spectacle". Last year He set things into motion with my health, and our family that has caused many people to take notice of our lives. So what I share now is not to gain sympathy, nor is it because I am in despair or afraid. I want the opportunity to stand before men and God and say that even though this weight might crush me, my heart is light because I trust my God.

Last Thursday, I went with Norma to the hospital for a biopsy of a large lump on her breast. It is deep and sitting on the muscle which is causing her pain. It will have to be removed, the biopsy is only to determine how aggressive the surgery and treatment will have to be. Neither of us want to hear the word cancer again, but Norma's response was this: "Whether it is cancer, or it isn't; I can't change that, I can only trust that God will see me through this." We will get the results of that biopsy on Tuesday and make preparations for the coming surgery to remove the mass.
This Thursday, Norma and I will stand before a judge in bankruptcy court. Eight months of not working last year and all the medical bills that I accumulated has wiped us out financially. We have been behind for months and have not been able to catch back up, but we don't want to loose our home. I won't lie and say that I have always been faithful in giving my finances to God, but we have tried this past year. Not every one of my decisions have been the best, and I have made mistakes; I don't blame God for this situation. But in truth, I do feel like I have failed.
I am supposed to be Batman, a superhero that can stand and defy any odds, and always come out on top to save the day. But these past few months I have felt weaker instead of stronger. I have not quit trying, but for all my trying nothing seems to get better. Even the walk I took as I prayed yesterday morning took it's toll on my body. My old ankles, still damaged from a motorcycle accident from eighteen years ago, gave out about two-thirds of the way. I could barely walk the rest of the day, and I am still in quite a bit of pain this morning. I am no superhero.
I went to bed last night thinking about the message that I had heard on Friday night. 
GOD'S VOICE CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING, and I needed to hear God's voice.
It came to me at one a.m. I woke up and in my spirit I heard one verse,

‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty. 

I went back to sleep with the peace that I had been searching for. I woke up this morning and looked up the verse in Zechariah 4, and then I went on to read the entire book. 
I do not have the strength to get through what is ahead us, nor do I have the means at my disposal to fix any of it; But I do have the Spirit of God living inside of me, and I trust my God. He has seen me through so much, how can I doubt and fear that He might fail me now? 

My neighbor saw me limping last night and asked if I was alright. He had seen me coming home earlier in the morning as I was returning from my walk and had said hello. I told him that I had just walked too far that morning and had over done it. He remembered and said, "That is from your motorcycle accident right? You have been through a lot. Actually, you have been through more than any man that I have ever known." At that we both kind of chuckled and I said, "I'll be OK."
But afterwards I began to realize something, people know me. I have a story that is starting to be told. But as my story is told, will I be known for my tragedies or will I be known for my faith. Everyone could see Job's tragedy, but his faith was revealed by his words. It's what you say in your tragedy that reveals your heart. So this Sunday morning, the first day of the week, the day of new beginning; I want to praise my God for seeing me through the week. I trust Him, no matter what the outcome or the circumstance, He is faithful and He is just. I may still have to carry the burden, but I let the weight rest on Him and my heart is light. 

Thank you Jesus for saving me and standing with me through every moment of this life that I have been so richly blessed to enjoy. 

I still hold onto this verse, it has been with me for a year now; and becomes more significant with each passing day.
 "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."
Luke 22:42

The Furnace

I was a little unsure, but I was ready to try and start a daily blog; that was almost two weeks ago.

Life seemed to come at me pretty hard the past few weeks, and I really wasn't sure why.
I had started studying the lives of Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. You would think by now that I would have realized what was happening. You see, I have come to understand one undeniable truth in my efforts to become a writer these past few years. It is something that God has revealed to me, slowly and patiently.

If I am willing to write it, I must also be willing to live it.

I finished my last blog with a question, Where was Daniel as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego faced the Fiery Furnace?

I did my homework, and I read a lot of possible theories. Men with much greater knowledge and understanding than I have asked this same question. There are many plausible ideas, but in the end there is one undeniable, common consensus; we do not know where Daniel was, the Bible simply does not tell us.
But my lesson was not over. Many times we must first define the question, before we are ready to receive the answer. I had asked a question that I did not fully understand, I needed time to learn; and as with many of the things of God, to learn them is to live them.

From the time of their captivity Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego had proven that they were willing to stand with Daniel in their stand for God. Now, whatever the reason, it is pretty clear that God chose Daniel to stand out in this group. It was Daniel that received the interpretation of Nebuchadnezzar's dream, and he would be the one to be elevated to the highest position; but God did not leave Daniel to stand alone. Daniel was able to see that his friends were appointed to positions of authority, they would remain close. But choosing to stand with a friend, does not mean that you will stand next to them in every trial. As I have prayed and asked for wisdom concerning my question of where was Daniel, I heard the Lord put this statement in my spirit.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego had proved that they were "willing" to stand with Daniel,
The Furnace proved that they "could" stand by him.

Daniel was a gifted leader and a devoted man of God. He would serve four kings, and he remained in the royal court through each ones reign. He had been established by God in his position, and now God would establish Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego as well.
King Nebuchadnezzar already held Daniel in the highest regard.

 Daniel 2:
 46 Then King Nebuchadnezzar fell prostrate before Daniel and paid him honor and ordered that an offering and incense be presented to him.

47 The king said to Daniel, “Surely your God is the God of gods and the Lord of kings and a revealer of mysteries, for you were able to reveal this mystery.”

48 Then the king placed Daniel in a high position and lavished many gifts on him. He made him ruler over the entire province of Babylon and placed him in charge of all its wise men.

49 Moreover, at Daniel’s request the king appointed Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego administrators over the province of Babylon, while Daniel himself remained at the royal court.

It's possible that he may not have required Daniel to bow to the image, but he would not have recognized these three young men in the same way, even if they did claim to serve Daniel's God. There would have been other Israeli refugees in the kingdom at that time, but it seems that only these three had the courage and conviction not to bow.
I believe that Daniel was there the entire time watching this event play out. His place may have been in the royal court, but it was not his place to intervene on this day. I believe that Daniel had to stand there and pray for his friends, believing that God would do what was best; just as his three friends believed as well. No one knew what the outcome would be, they only knew what was right and what they must do.

Daniel 3:

16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter.

17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand.

18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” 

 

Sometimes we just don't know how things will work out, we have to leave that part up to God. But we can be willing to live up to our part. Most of the time there is only one Daniel appointed by God. But in my time contemplating this story, I believe that every Israeli captive had the opportunity to stand with Daniel. Only three were willing to accept that position, to have Daniel's back when it mattered; and the furnace proved their worth. 

One day Daniel would stand alone and face the lion's den, but I am convinced that he was not the only one that would spend that night in prayer. 

There are those that we will choose to stand with, but we must also allow God to determine who is proven to be able to stand. It can be an uncertain process, but it is often God's way of proving us.